Sick of the fatigue and fog? Fed up with the unpredictable flares? Hangry from the super restrictive diets?
Hello, and welcome to the Crunchy Allergist Podcast, A podcast empowering those who like me, appreciate both a naturally minded and scientifically grounded approach to health and healing.
Hi, I'm your host, Dr. Kara Wada, quadruple board certified pediatric and adult allergy immunology and lifestyle medicine, physician Sjogren's patient and life coach. My recipe for success combines, the anti-inflammatory lifestyle, trusting therapeutic relationships, modern medicine, and mindset to harness our body's ability to heal.
Now although I might be a physician, I'm not your physician and this podcast is for educational purposes only.
Good morning, everyone. I am super excited. It is Friday and I am totally ready for the weekend. Yesterday was a pretty stressful day. And I am just ready to unwind and take a little time for myself. I had to call. EMS twice to our clinic yesterday, which I don't think has ever happened in the history of my outpatient medical practice.
Yeah, that was everyone's fine. It just was a lot of fight or flight hormone going around between EpiPens and my own adrenals. Like it was plenty.
But I'm really excited this morning to talk all about how we can really build sustainable habits and how we can get off of that on again, off again, like the diet culture, yoyo diet frame of mind that we get stuck in so often.
Even if we're not necessarily like thinking of it as like a diet, but that on again, off again, pattern that we tend to fall into when we are trying to build any new habit.
So I'm gonna talk about the six Ps. If we are relatively new at meeting I am just gonna let you know, I have a weird quirk where I love alliteration. And so anytime I can come up with ways of describing things with the same starting letter, you're gonna notice that. And I like acronyms too, which is how the air squared thing came up.
But anyways, the first thing we're going to talk about, the first P is we talk about building sustainable habits and especially in the context of an anti-inflammatory lifestyle is *Perspective*.
So as we are deciding on a particular goal or kind of a strategy or think something we wanna change in our lives, we need to realize that part of that experience is going to involve a lot of resistance in our brain. Our brain loves the status quo and it loves keeping things like stable, because one, it takes less energy, right?
Like literally it takes less glucose to fuel our brain and we just stay in those paths that we already have. We like to stay in that safe place. And to our brain even if we logically know that making like a change of walking more or eating more vegetables or what have you is better for overall health in our brain's mind that is that's changing things up and so that is not safe in that sense.
So our brains are going to meet resistance along the way. It's not an "if" it's a "when." And instead when we are just caught up in changing our behaviors themselves, it's really easy for us to start negotiating to talk ourselves into not showing up for ourselves to not take ourselves seriously.
So we really need to look at the stories we're telling ourselves along the way. These stories that we tell ourselves. The thoughts that we think are what fuel our brains and what fuel our behaviors. So if we are able to take a little shift in our perspective or that frame of mind that we go into when we are trying to make changes for our health that can be incredibly powerful. It is setting the stage for success and for long term success.
*How do we shift that frame of mind? *
We're gonna talk a lot about another P which is process-oriented and so we'll get into that. But when we set a goal, I really want you to focus on thinking about the process rather than the end point.
We're gonna get into more of why that is. We're gonna really work on shifting our overall perspective so that we can unearth some of those stories that we keep coming back to. That keep us stuck in the same behavior patterns, time and time again.
So the second P is *Patience*. It takes roughly 60 to 90 days for us to develop a new habit and to have that new habit be a part of who we are and not just something we're doing. We are going to notice resistance in the beginning because we are not only working on building that new habit, but we also have the memory of that old habit that we are trying to extinguish.
And there is a reason why we say old habits die hard because they do. It takes a lot to overcome that resistance in our brain. We are going to tell ourselves stories along the way of why we should hit the news button. Why we shouldn't go out and go for our walk. It's too hot. It's raining.
We're gonna tell ourselves stories of why we should go get ice cream, even if that's not on the plan. We're gonna tell ourselves all of these stories in the moment because our brain is going to want to keep us in this state, safe status quo. And we need to be comfortable and patient with living in this space of the "both" and the "and" while we're working on building a new habit and kind of working on consistency.
We're gonna be living in the state of tension because it is uncomfortable to be really working on building these new neural pathways. It's like we are explorers and we are out on the Oregon trail. And we are trying to really like build those new wagon lanes. They are not already built in the ground. We are starting from scratch and we have our big sword, cutting down the Prairie grass. We are like going through the mud. We are going over the gravel. Having to go around those big rocks, going over mountains through the valleys over the river. Like I am a total elder millennial. I am just thinking about the Oregon trail right now, if anyone played that game.
There is a lot of resistance that's gonna come up along the way. And so we need to be patient with the process.
We also need to prepare for failure. Okay? So when we go into a new behavior, when we think about starting a new workout plan or a new way of eating, we start with so much optimism. We start with this idea of *perfectionism,* that's another P in mind.
And we set these standards like, okay, I am gonna wake up every morning at 5:00 AM. I'm gonna get on my bike. I'm gonna drink my water. I'm gonna eat according to Jennifer's plan. And we get so excited and so optimistic. We go out, we buy our new planner, we get our pretty pens. Maybe we get a new workout outfit or a water bottle. How many water bottles do you have? We just got sold a bunch in our garage sale.
But we put so much emphasis on this preparing to start and to prepare, like to kick things off and get ready, but we don't ever think about or prepare for when we hit resistance and we will hit resistance, we just talked about that.
It's going to take 60 to 90 days and we're gonna end up maybe a week or two in. And we are like, gonna have a bad night of sleep. Like maybe the kids didn't sleep or we end up with an illness or we're having a flare cuz of a virus. We're gonna travel, like something is going to change and we are that alarm's gonna go off and you are gonna reach for that snooze button.
And maybe that one day you're gonna hit it, we're gonna hit it. Or we're not gonna fill up our water as much as we expected, or we're going to be out with friends and decide to have that extra glass of wine. There will be slip ups. It's part of life. We're going to have resistance in those moments, right?
Our brain is gonna fight really hard to keep those old habits. So how are you going to face that adversity? How are you gonna handle it? When you get sick, when your kids get sick?
When I'm thinking about Ollie, we sleep trained him this week and I have had two nights of the most glorious sleep ever. I am like, "ah, this is amazing." But I know he is going to get a daycare bug and we are going to be back to nursing him like multiple times a night. It will happen and I'm gonna have to sleep train him again probably. Right? We're gonna have to do a little reboot.
And so if you were unable to, or unwilling to think about what's gonna happen when you fail, if we avoid those conversations now. When we encounter that failure it is catastrophe, right? It is " oh my gosh, I have to go all the way back to square one." "I am back to day one, I'll just restart on Monday or maybe, like next week."
And this happens so often, like we get a few weeks in right. Or a month into a plan and we have a slip up and we think that all of that effort we put in all of those days that we put in. All of those decisions we made, like that kept us on plan. All of those were for naught, right? That like none of that mattered.
And that's how we talked to ourselves because we didn't do this perfectly, none of it counts. And that's not true at all. You were a much different person, a few weeks in than when you started. And, we so quickly forget about all of those times that we did fill up our water bottle, that we did listen to our body, that we did spend a little time meditating, that we did spend that time journaling or that we opted for two servings of veggies in place of, maybe something that was a food that doesn't sit right with you.
We forget about all of those successes we had on the way and we discredit ourselves in the process. We forget about all the times. We kept the promise to ourselves that we really worked on building that trustworth ourselves. And we tell ourselves that none of that mattered. No, no, no, no, no, no.
So we need to piece out on perfectionism and we need to *Prepare for failure*. Because we all set out with big goals in mind, right? Big aspirations in mind. And we're gonna talk about how we can readjust that to help set ourselves up for better success. But we need to get rid of the perfectionism and prepare for failure super important to be sustainable and to keep this in for the long term.
One of the other huge aspects where we can really shift the perspective and really work towards sustainable lifelong habits is becoming process oriented.
So let's work on becoming someone who builds a new habit rather than the person who's going for a particular endpoint. So I'm gonna focus on rather than focusing on losing the 25 pounds that I'm holding onto after having Ollie, I'm gonna work on placing my focus on the process itself.
The *Process of building habits* because the habits matter. Because I'm a person who cares for herself rather than a person who weighs a certain amount or who loses a certain amount of weight or looks a certain way, or is back to certain size.
I am putting emphasis on the habit because I know in the long term, these habit will help me have less inflammation. And I'm likely going to end up losing some of that weight. I may not lose all who knows. I'm disassociating myself from that end point from that particular target in mind and I'm really focusing on the process and how that process is becoming part of me.
So when we are focused on the reward, we have such a hard time getting back on track. As we have these slipups, as we have these hiccups. When you focus on the process, the habits stop being a means to an end. And the healthy, sustainable habits are who we want to be and who we become. And then that is so much easier to integrate into your every day, for the rest of time reality.
When we are outcome oriented, it has us hustling. It has us rushing towards a goal. It sets us up for this on again, off again. On the wagon, off the wagon. Gaining and losing the same 10, 20, whatever pounds over and over again. It's wash, rinse. Repeat.
This has been like up until the last couple years, this was my life. Was on a diet off a diet trying, south beach or low carb or AIP, all the things. Once you get the result though, like once I felt better after like my 60, 90 days on AIP, how was I going to keep at it? That was not sustainable for our family. It was not sustainable for me.
It made food like the enemy. It made food such a stressor. I had so much more fight or flight going through my body. What do I do? What do I not do? And so you get to the end point after you hustle and you ask yourself like, how can I stick with this? How am I gonna do this for the next one year, the next three years, the next five years.
So really the question becomes, are you willing to build the habits, the lifetime skills and the necessary disciplines and become committed to the process? And know that in the end, the byproducts will come with building those habits. Building that muscle memory over time.
When you build habits towards an end point, you see how those cycles of up and down can really lead to more stress, more hustle, and then you fail yourself. You feel more critical and you end up in this up and down rather than just this nice even, chill Zen.
So what do we expect over that first 60 to 90 days as you're working on building kind of this more sustainable pathway while you're learning to build these new neural pathways to build new habits, to build consistency?
That first 90 days really helps open your eyes to all the things you've been compromising this before. The first 90 days are not about the outcome. You'll see benefits, right? Like it comes as the byproduct, but it's not the focus.
I really want you to think about learning what it takes to commit to a process. To feel with your body, with your mind, what consistency looks as you were thinking about building an anti-inflammatory lifestyle. You're gonna build muscle memory. You're gonna build confidence as you work on overcoming that resistance that you're going to feel. Those failures that you're going to have along the way. You're gonna find out the stories you're telling yourself that are causing the resistance, right?
The stories you didn't even know you had. Because so many of these thoughts, these 60,000 thoughts that we have in a day are just like riding under the surface until we bring our attention to them. So everyone wants the great outcome, right? We want lower inflammation. Maybe we wanna lose some weight.
But very few people want to learn the habits and instill the discipline that helps us build the skills. To get to that long term goal, that happily ever after. You need to commit to learn how to show up to yourself sustainably and consistently. To get to that off that up and down and more to that, like consist end.
So one of those things is what does it mean to overcome those stories we tell ourselves when we are not getting to that outcome or that goal fast enough?
So many times we tell ourselves in the past probably, that if it doesn't happen quickly, it's not worth the effort. That comes so up so often in diet culture, or like this crazy workout culture, like beach body, not beach body as a whole, but like old school, 90 day. I'm trying to think of the name of some of those programs. I always loved like some of them, but I would start off and follow the plan and I wouldn't be able to walk for like days and then I couldn't get back on it. Because I was like doing too much, too fast and I was, so I was hustling for kind of that smaller size pant or to look better in my swimsuit or, whatever.
The first 90 days are really just looking at what it looks and feels to be committed to our health without the blinders on. To take those blinders off and to really be committed to the process of building self trust. Learning the stories we tell ourselves and learning what it feels like to build habits over time. Building that muscle memory.
And when we do that, we become a new *Person*. So that's the last P. When we take this approach, it actually slowly but surely changes our identity. This is not only what I do. This is who I am. I am someone who takes care of themselves, who lives in anti-inflammatory lifestyle, but to get there, it's going to feel tedious and it's gonna feel cumbersome.
Not every day. Like when we first get started, we're optimistic. We're like gangbusters, like gonna do this. As we get further in, the brain's gonna start putting up those balls.
Why are we hitting the snooze? Why are we getting the takeout? Why are we doing these things? What are the stories we're telling ourselves in those moments to sabotage ourselves and not stick with it.
And so when our brain resists, we need to commit to figuring it out. We need to commit to figuring out what we're telling ourselves to show up for ourselves. To get over the resistance. To get over those humps. To get around those mountains through the valleys over the river.
Past typhoid fever. Back to the Oregon trail. To learn to live and build these habits that are sustainable for a year from now. Three years from now, five years from now. When maybe we do have these flares or illnesses or hiccups, or in my case, I have a dental issue. I need to get checked out to date.
Like, how am I going to get back on track? Stay on track. Because we know that these compound over time, as we've talked about before those 1% improvements day after day after day after day times a year, 37 times, where you originally were. It's enormous potential when we make these slow, small, sustainable changes over time and we're consistent with them.
When we build habits with the process in mind and we place our value on the process. It helps you overcome so many more hurdles on the journey when we build. The process with the idea of who we are becoming in that process who we're becoming along the way. With that mindset, when we stay consistent, when we stop shaming ourselves, that's when we realize our true potential.
When you set goals, I want you to keep these P's in mind. Okay. So we had *Perspective shift*. We have *Patience with the Process.* We're *Preparing for failure*. Really* Putting Perfectionism aside.* We're becoming *Process Oriented,* and we are really *Envisioning the Person* that we want to become. And when we keep this in mind with our goals of really living a lifestyle that is long term, that is going to help and sustain our health and healing, that's where the magic is.
That's where we can really capitalize on. It's like compound interest. That they hopefully teach everyone still an econ when you're able to build on those small wins, they add up with consistency over time. And it just becomes part of who you are.
When you are able to just reach in the fridge and be like, oh yeah, this is breakfast done. Or when those, for me like those meal planning, afternoons and meal prepping afternoons on Sunday, it's just part of my routine now. Get the groceries, get things prepped. We're on track.
Or where I, what I'm working on now is really working on building those habits. What is my resistance to getting out and walking or getting on the bike when it's not, what are the stories I'm telling myself when I am not doing those habits that are going to help my health long term?
So that's my current my current progress work I'm working on. This is a lifelong progress process, but when we learn some of the tools to help ourselves get over those stories. So learning how to manage our mind. Learning how to prepare for a failure. All these different things can really be helpful as we continue to make these 1% improvements for forever. Cause life is a journey, right?
When we take ourselves away from that end point and away from that that goal and focus on the process, that's when we're really living in the moment. Living in the journey of life and getting away from what we will call this arrival fallacy. That when we arrive at a certain weight or we arrive at a certain end point that the rainbows are going to come out. They'll be unicorns and glitter and it will be amazing.
It's not the case. I live for so long in this space of thinking that once I hit my role is an attending, like life would be perfect. Or once I paid off our loans "woo!" Everything would be magical. It's not the case. Like you get to that point and you have that dopamine hit for a few, a few moments, a few days, whatever. And then it's gone again and then you're reaching for that next gold star.
So when we focus on the process, that's where the magic happens. So I hope this is helpful. And if you are interested in learning a little bit more about how to work with Jen and I, we would love to keep working with you after this retreat wraps up. We have two programs that are launching. We have one that is a little bit more weight- focused.
If you are looking to have that as part of your journey, or just focusing on more of just this anti-inflammatory holistic, don't need that extra in regards to the weight, let us know. We'd love to talk with you. See if you think it's a good fit and I will post some of the links for those programs that we have available below.
And I look forward to continuing to work and interact together either way. Whether we are working as clients or discontinuing to interact in this community in this space of really working on sustainable science supported habits to build are health and healing for the long term. Thanks for joining us for all this. I've had so much fun and y'all are the best. So talk soon.
If you have found this information helpful and empowering, I would strongly encourage you to hop over to *www.crunchyallergists.com* And subscribe to our weekly newsletter where we dive in to all things allergy auto-immunity and anti-inflammatory living.
Thanks so much for tuning in and I look forward to talking again next week.
